Transformers Ejector
Transformers Ejector
Transformers Ejector
Transformers Ejector

Around the time of the first film Mountain Dew ran a commercial which included a transforming mischievous toaster. And much hilarity ensued, it really did. Honest. Anyway, fast-forward two years and Hasbro needed something go go in their Scout Class range in the Revenge of the Fallen line. People had stopped buying Real Gear robots once onscreen Transformers started showing up in stores, while they weren't going to get away with rubbish Cybertron moulds again either.

So, with only one named screen character suitable for the price point (Scalpel) the Scout Class became a dumping ground for concepts which didn't cut the mustard, figures based on video game drones and, in short, anything vaguely viable pissed-up designers had done on lunchbreaks and Hasbro still had lying around. Ejector did actually make it into the film as one of the household objects brought to life by the Allspark shard in Sam's kitchen, so all Hasbro had to do was slap on an hilarious name and a Decepticon symbol and they had another minimum-effort toy to fill out the range.


So, Ejector turns into a toaster. Isn't that the funniest thing you've ever seen? It will be when you see it written down on the back of the card, and for at least a minute after you get him out and transform him. Then the chortling will stop. A toaster that transforms into a robot? Pretty cool. A toy of a toaster that transforms into a robot? Not so much. It goes without saying that he has absolutely no toasting functions. So, what Ejector basically turns into is a stylised silver block. One that will probably chip badly to boot.

Because Hasbro have put next to no effort into this thing at all. There's a button on the side, a few dents in the top and a plug socket on a string sticking out of the back and that's about it. How do you know it's a toaster? It says in the instructions. If they'd told you it was a heater or some sort of Cybertronian brick or whatever you'd struggle to prove them wrong. It's not even got any sort of smooth finish, due to this being join-line city. Most Transformers have at least a couple of join lines; as seen on Sideswipe, silver finishes can really make them stick out. But this is nothing compared to the mess of panels on Ejector.


The transformation is surprisingly complex for such a small figure but does just basically involve unfolding a silver box into a robot. Ejector has an animalistic look to him in keeping with All Spark mutations as seen in the films, and is fairly close to the CG model, albeit with a lot more parts stowed on the back and the arms.

Sadly, the mutant look doesn't translate into a good toy. Once you've got past the goofiness (again, around a minute or so after you've first set eyes on him) the drawbacks come in - like the way his chest has a big, stupid hungry goblin face all over it. Or the way his articulation is pretty much bugger-all use as his legs are so badly designed they only hold the robot's weight in one particular position. It's basically patently obvious this thing was designed as a cheap joke and was never really meant to go this far, but the easily amused will lap this crap up.


So, Ejector is a toy to borrow rather than buy. Actually, sod it, just cycle through the pictures for a minute or two, that'll satisfy your cravings. Over here at least Scouts are rather overpriced (at £8-10) and I feel a little gullible about buying this piece of shit. It sounds like I'm being a humourless fanboy but you've got to consider that Hasbro put some design budget this way, but didn't bother making a proper figures of half the Constructicons or slapping full paint applications on half the figures. So, to be honest, the joke wears thin when it's cost money and possibly sapped resources from toys that have purpose beyond briefly amusing simpletons.